I’ve never been a fan of waiting. I come by this honestly. Dare I say, it’s genetic. When my older sister was in grade school, she interviewed our father for a class assignment. One question was what he disliked. His answer, which immediately became famous within the family: “Waiting and lumpy gravy.” I’m with him on both.

Last Thursday night, I sent my final (please, God) corrections to the person doing the interior design on my book. With one exception, all the corrections were misplaced hyphenations caused by her software. (Seriously—in what bizarre alternate universe would I ever hyphenate “Ryan”?) It was a fairly lengthy list, but they should all be simple enough. If she sends over the final proof tomorrow morning, I can review it, approve it, and call it done. (I was hoping she might decide to work over the weekend, but no such luck.)

The cover design is done. My cover artist (spouse of the interior designer) said in his Friday email that once I sign off on everything, he can send the final files.

In preparation, I tried to log into Ingram Spark on Friday. They wanted me to update my password. I tried, and tried, and tried again. Finally, I emailed them to ask what the problem is. I’m waiting for a response so I can be ready to do the upload as soon as I have the final book and cover files.

I already know Amazon is taking forever these days. I’ve ordered inventory of the other two books, and each order claims it will take 3-4 weeks. No idea what’s taking so long. I remember when the turnaround was 10 days. I’m presently living in terror about how long it will take to get a proof copy of the new book so I can place an actual order, plus how long fulfillment take, because the launch party is November 5 and I must have books for the party. But I don’t dare place an order for 50 books without reviewing a proof copy, because if they screw something up, I’ll have no recourse. Even at author copy prices, books aren’t inexpensive because even Prime members pay for shipping on author copies.

And did I mention that I have an appellate brief due this Friday and another due in two weeks? It’s just as well, because if all I had to do was to sit around and wait for proofs, files, book proofs, and deliveries, I’d likely go mad.

Some might encourage me to use this time wisely. The book is written. There’s nothing more to do there. So use this time to plan out some marketing (which, let’s face it, should already be in place), try to schedule more events, and do everything that needs to happen before Halloween because there will be no time later, like wash the windows, clean up the gardens, figure out year-end finances, schedule various home maintenance tasks (boiler inspection, leaf cleanup, and whatever I’m forgetting right now)—oh, and plan the launch party.

The launch party is a first for me, but I’m genuinely excited (except when I start panicking about the possibility of not having books). I’ve never done a book launch. My first novel, State v. Claus, came out during the pandemic, and nobody was doing in-person events, so I posted it and went on with my day. My second novel, Becoming Mrs. Claus, came out in 2023. While I could theoretically have had a launch, the final weeks before publication were fraught: my beloved orange cat, Ned, died, and my book designers and I were waiting until the last minute for the cover blurb because author William Kent Krueger, who generously blurbed the book, was on tour for his own recent release. At least it was simply a matter of uploading files and calling it released that time. (Also, that was when Amazon was turning around orders for author copies in days rather than weeks.)

I feel as if I should be putting this gap time to good use, except I don’t know what that good use is. Some authors might be starting a new book at this point, but those are likely authors who aren’t responsible for getting the books uploaded, ordered, and delivered by any particular deadline.

Mind you, I know that from certain perspectives, this is a lovely problem to have. Other people are waiting for far more pressing things, like my nephew who is need of a kidney transplant and is presently undergoing dialysis. If I don’t have books for my launch party, I’ll be mortified and crushed and attendees will be disappointed, but if he doesn’t get a kidney, the consequences are far more dire. Plenty of people are waiting to be paid for work they’ve performed or to receive court-ordered alimony and child support payments so they can meet their various obligations. People are waiting to hear about job opportunities, school admissions, and countless other decisions that could affect the course of their lives.

And so, as I wait for everything I need, I try to keep perspective. Yes, I dearly want to have everything in place for the launch party. Yes, it drives me nuts to have so little control over things like Ingram Spark’s tech glitches or Amazon’s slow production schedule. (No, Amazon does not offer the option of expediting an order. I’ve checked. Apparently, author copies are a low priority because they’re sold at wholesale and Amazon doesn’t make money on them.)

The only option to speed up an Amazon order is to order books as standard retail purchases and use Prime for shipping. (While this is more expensive than author copies, the author does have the option of setting the price wherever they choose.) While this would be a decent workaround after publication, it would require officially publishing the book weeks earlier than I planned. One of the perks of coming to the launch is that people will get the books before they’re available to the public, since the launch is November 5 and publication day is November  10. If I have to release early in order to have books for the launch, this incentive vanishes.

Another possibility is to use other printers, such as Barnes & Noble, who also offer print-on-demand and may be able to turn around an order more quickly. Even so, until I have final files in hand, I can’t do anything.

They say waiting builds character. Being powerless teaches you patience and faith. Having no control helps you to realize what’s truly important.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe all these things are true. Maybe the current circumstances will make me a better, stronger person.

I don’t care. I want my books in time for the launch. I don’t mean to whine (although I know I sound a little bit whiny—or maybe more than a little bit.) It’s not even just so I have the books to show everybody. The real reason—and this is God’s honest truth, not an attempt to make myself sound less whiny—is that I don’t want to disappoint the people who are coming. Those generous folks are coming because it means something to them to support this local author and/or to have my new book a few days before the rest of the world. These people are incredibly kind, and I want to be able to put this book into their hands. I want to give them this tangible evidence that I appreciate their coming out on an evening in November, after autumn darkness has fallen, when they could very reasonably have decided just to go home and watch television and wait a few more days to order the book. Whether the party consists of six people or 30 (and I seriously doubt there will be as many as 30), I will be enormously grateful to them for coming, and I want them to have the tiny benefit of purchasing the book before anybody else on the planet, just because they’re special and I want them to know it.

In the end, it comes down to this: I wrote the book. That’s the part I controlled. From here on out, the vast majority of what happens will depend on other people.

And so, we wait.