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Staying Awake

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“Being centered to write is accepting the mess, loving the mess, celebrating the mess, and writing about the mess.”

~~Dacia R. Ball

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A few weeks ago, I posted about solitude. As one who lives alone, my perspective was obviously limited. Today, poet Dacia R. Ball offers insights about balancing the call of the creative life with the demands of motherhood. Welcome, Dacia!

Dacia Miller Ball

STAYING AWAKE

by Dacia R. Ball

I was a floundering mother with fears and self-doubt who carried within me an ardent need to understand life in all its intricacies. This was a blessing and a curse. I saw the other side, the transcendent parts of living not visible to plain sight, but I was contained within the physical demands of feedings, dirty linens, and a body fighting postpartum depression.

Through the encouragement of a community of fellow writers, I was able to return to a craft I began in my twenties and had set aside while becoming a mother in my thirties. Poetry and essays became an outlet for my musings. My sporadic blog posts ranged from theological rants to accounts of spontaneous road trips. Continue reading →

Lessons from Judging a Writing Contest

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Judging others is tricky business. Being viewed as judgmental is nearly always negative. Criticizing someone’s art or craft—even when that’s what you’re paid to do—can lead to some spicy battles. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns us, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matt. 7:1-2 NIV)

Which are some of the reasons I was a bit nervous when I agreed to serve as a judge in a short story contest (which we’ll call “The Contest”).

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I’ve been submitting stories to contests and publications for nearly four years. While I have had some small successes, the rejections far outnumber the acceptances. Continue reading →

Simple Observations on a Sunday Afternoon

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As I came to this post, so many ideas swirled in my brain. The opposite of the standard writer dilemma—not what to write about, but which. Yesterday’s March for Truth through the historic district in my little town. The latest tragedy, this time in London. The simplicity of planting flowers and vegetables and herbs. The passing of a friend’s beloved cat and the reality of grief. The serendipity of finding just the right table (free!) to solve a cluster of storage/decorating challenges. My twentieth anniversary as a full-time independent contractor. The stress of facing bill-paying with more receivables than received.

In the end, I went with the simplest notion of all, one that can never steer a writer wrong: pay attention. The Zen folks speak of the importance of consciousness, of being present. Zen or not, writer or not, noticing what’s around us is important. It can ground Continue reading →

Musings on Solitude

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Solitude: a state or situation in which you are alone usually because you want to be. (Source: Merriam-Webster online dictionary)

A writer’s life is, by definition, solitary. Even those who live with spouses, children, and menageries need to take time apart to write. A few years ago, I attended at talk at R. J. Julia Booksellers by Nichole Bernier, author of The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D. and the mother of five children. She described how she would retreat to the attic to write and how her husband (who, I suspect, may be up for canonization) periodically sent her off to a hotel for a writing weekend while he stayed home with the kids.

Some writers leave home each day because they have day jobs. Poet Wallace Stevens worked as an attorney at a Hartford-based insurance company. Anthony Trollope famously wrote for three hours every morning before heading off to his job at the Post Office where he introduced the red pillar boxes still seen all over Britain. Whether they adored their coworkers or spent the workday waiting for the moment when they could scurry home to peace and quiet, I don’t know. Continue reading →

Writing from Real Life

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Write what you know.

It’s one of the first things writers hear. While we could spend hours debating the merits of this precept, one particular aspect is currently on my mind:

Is it okay to write what I know when what I know is from somebody else’s life?

Recently, a man I know – let’s call him Fred – posted on social media about a situation he and his significant other – we’ll call her Emily – are dealing with – we’ll call it The Event. The Event is Emily’s problem, and it’s not going to be resolved any time soon. Because she’s in a relationship with Fred, he’s being kind and supportive. So far, so good. Continue reading →